Of my 7 day, 49hr work week.
With no days off.
Holy shit I better get some good tips.
loveyouakelo asked: even though i hardly know you at all, i have nothing but the utmost faith in both you and your boyfriend. you have a tenacity and a resilience that is not matched by many. even though you feel like things are hard--and they are, your positive outlook is what will get you through it. i have been following your blog for a while now, and it has always been one of my sources of light and inspiration. i only hope that things don't only just get better for you-- but that they also get MAGNIFICENT. <3
Wow,you honestly just made me cry a bit. This is by far one of the most kind, and uplifting things anyone has ever said to me. I treasure everything you just said and strongly admire you for taking the time to say nice things to someone when they are down on their luck..You my friend, have a big heart, so much admiration for you. i didn’t realize how much my blog, a simple reflection of my life, mind, and self could be such a positive thing. I hope to hear from you more in the future. You are so inspirational. I would love to hear more about you, so if you ever need an ear. Feel free to vent:) thank you for your kind words. I hope your life is magnificent and beautiful, just as you are.
Anonymous asked: I hope for the best(:
Thank you:) that means so much. I wish you the best in all you do! Love&light.
mysterypoptart asked: I dont want my ps3. Its yours. Is that alright??
Woahhhh what?! You don’t have to do that bud. We were gonna bring it down along with your tv as soon as we got gas monies. Don’t worry about it, it’s yours and you paid a lot for it. I love you. Your the best brother ever.
Anonymous asked: Do you go to college? If not, why not?
At the moment I do not. I did, about a year or so ago. Then I moved and I just haven’t completed my program. I’m going to go back, It’s just a little difficult with working and a new babe on the way here shortly. But soon enough! I have big plans:)
heydicknuts asked: Not saying that your sadness has a medical reason but pregnancy hormones are not your best friend right now... And stress on top of that isnt helping im sure. Cry if you need to cry, sleep if you need to sleep, scream if you need to scream, whatever you do don't bottle it up. Hold your head high little missy you'll make it through this rough patch and everything will work itself out, just take it one day at a time and remember to breathe. Close your eyes and count to ten, you got this😘
Im happy to know I have some friends who are there when I just need a few words of wisdom. Im trying to breathe, but I feel like I get so caught up I forget how. Silly I know, but its pretty much how I feel. Anywho. Thanks Love. Maybe sometime if you and Emilielala come to portland and I have a day off we can get together. <3
Thanks Sexy-Jesus. (Btw Thats your new name in my telly.)
This Pillow Talk Will Wake Me Up.
I feel sad inside.
Im not depressed or anything,..Or at least I don’t think so.. but things are starting to wear me down.. Things haven’t exactly been the smoothest since we moved back. We are both working, So time together is becoming scarce, being pregnant isn’t exactly a cake walk either. Plus me working, on my feet constantly, makes me feel even worse. Physically. Work emotionally is fine, its not exactly stressful, I mean, hell, I make lattes and cappuccinos. How hard does that get?
Coles anxiety isn’t getting better. Especially knowing how tight money is,.. we couldn’t afford rent and our personal finances so we had to move all Rowans stuff out of his room into ours, and we had a good friend move in. More of a, “We both are stuck in a sticky situation, so here lets help each other” kind of thing. There is no problem with having a roommate. Especially not a good friend. But still… it’s never a good feeling when you cant give your own kid their own room and you have to have help to live..
Im not complaining by the way,.. I’m eternally grateful and owe everything to the universe for being so blessed as to getting a good job at Starbucks, having a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and being blessed with such an amazingly strong and compassionate man/father of our beautiful baby boy. But I think I am still entitled to be sad sometimes right? But then again i feel like im being foolish and selfish..
I feel so emotionally off balance. It’s becoming difficult for me to express my thoughts and feelings.. and when I do, it just comes out in a complete hysterical mess of tears. It just doesn’t stop. I feel foolish after I calm down. Then I just want to sleep for days and not move,..
I never feel this way. So why now? Am I being foolish? Selfish? Or do I have good reason to be feeling this way?.. I don’t want to feel like this, Im doing everything I possibly can to be happy.. I keep a smile on my face so Cole doesn’t see and worry more about me more than he already does. (Which is alot by the way). Idk.
I am happy, with Cole. He isn’t whats making me sad at all. He’s my eternal and infinante love, my forever, my person, my soul, my sungod, sunshine, Clobird. He is my life line, and I treasure him more than my own heart. Without him, I wouldn’t be the changed person I am today. We wouldn’t be blessed with Rowan if it wasn’t for him. I believe he is the soul reason behind my smiles.
Money or no Money.
House or no House.
Heaven or Hell.
I am happy in my heart. Just not in my head I guess?.. Maybe This post was completely pointless. Maybe I just needed to vent. Perhaps I should do it more.
I guess we will see..
Time to go, need to finish my dishes before Coley comes home.
Love & Light to you all.
P.S. If you read this, I appreciate the fact that you took the time out of your life to be interested in mine. I appreciate you and all that you are as a human being. <3